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For as long as I can remember, I've had this burning desire to be treated as a child. I always just wanted the security of a paternal figure. Someone that would tell me what to do and punish me if I disobeyed.
In high school, I tried dating the macho guys that seemed to have dominant personalities, but they turned out to be big sissies when I asked them to spank me. One of them tried, but he was so concerned with hurting me, he barely smacked my ass at all. Needless to say, high school was a rather boring portion of my life.
In college, I met a man that seemed to fit the role perfectly. He was strong and handsome and loved to take me over his knee for a good sound spanking. He also introduced me to another aspect of ageplay - diapers. I had heard of infantilism and diaper fetish before, but it never really piqued an interest in me. That changed quickly the first time he taped me up into a disposable diaper. The thick padding between my legs gave me a constant reminder of my little girl status and it felt divine.
After my introduction to adult diapers, I began playing out some of my 'caught in the act' fantasies. I would wear a diaper under a particularly short skirt and find reasons to bend over in front of cute guys. The reactions from the men that witnessed my diaper flashing fueled my desires even more. I rarely got a comment, but the looks on their faces was all I needed.
My relationship with my college sweetheart ended after graduation, as he moved across the country for work and I was unwilling to leave my home. Since then, I've had no luck finding the right man to fill that role. The men I've met since college have either been far too sadistic or they're looking for someone to be dominant. I just want to meet a strict, paternal man that will love me and treat me like the little diaper girl I am.
Some day, I'll find the right guy for me. Until then, I'll make due with changing my own diapers and finding creative ways to get the punishments I deserve. =)
-Calla
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